Last year for the site’s anniversary, I dropped dozens of monsters for 4 Horror War, a purely hypothetical mons game I made up in homage of a bunch of horror characters I like. Well, one of the things I’m doing this year is the first 4 Horror War DLC, House of 4 Horror War. There will be sixteen new arky families for your perusal this month. Today’s family belongs to Atomic Horror, THE CRYPTID FAMILY!

The fierce and powerful Snobominbal lives on the most inhospitably cold mountains of the world. Armed with fierce claws, enormous muscles, and the kind of primordial bloodlust only a hominid could exhibit, this man-beast of the snow devours all who get in its way.

If allowed to listen to a prank radio broadcast by Orson Welles, Snobominbal can evolve into Inspader. Wearing a strange metal spacesuit, this alien fires deadly beams of colorful light from its gun-arm.

If allowed to read paranoid conspiracy theories, Inspader can evolve into Komotoid. This shapeshifter can trick other monsters into thinking it is a weak and fragile human victim, only to suddenly turn into a deadly reptilian humanoid with a caustic bite.

If allowed to drink tequila while reading racy magazines illustrated by H.R. Giger, Inspader can evolve into Goatsip. Though small in size, this speedy alien monster is a frenetic brawler who tears open foes with its claws and fangs to lap up their sweet, tasty blood.

If encouraged to chase its ill-concieved dream of flying, Snobominbal can evolve into Brontobird. Now a bird of prey the size of a personal aircraft, this horrible raptor swoops down from the skies to carry off its prey to an untimely and terrible demise.

If taken for a swim in a lake, Snobominbal can evolve into Nesseel. Now a colossal serpentine fish, this sinuous lake monster specializes in evading enemy attacks, sneaking up on its foes to rend them apart with its retractable jaws.

If put on a team with the Prehistoric Monster arky Brontobite, Nesseel can evolve into Mokiller. A colossal brute, this massive primordial beast is so immense that its alters the geography of its stomping grounds, flattening forests and changing the courses of rivers.

After dying in four consecutive battles, Nesseel can mutate into Globgob. A putrid and stinking mass of rotten flesh, Globgob sickens foes with its revolting stench, then slithers over and swallows them with its gaping ribcage mouth.